oh wow. college.

i'm finding out that this whole college-decision-deal isn't as far off as i'd hoped/believed it to be. i have been planning to take CLEP and community courses but i am discovering that a few of my choice colleges do not accept credits and/or will likely make it difficult to transfer credits from TCC. this is a huge bummer as many of my plans had relied on it. notice i said "my plans." i don't have "God-plans" yet... or else i wouldn't be stressed. but i heard something this week from a very wise man:

"God doesn't give us billboards because that's not how he works. it's like the matrix-- he tells us 'follow the white rabbit' and we see a tattoo and say 'hey God, is that it?' he doesn't give us the answers because we're not ready."
--my dad

and at SLU...
"a dream is always bigger than you. if you can accomplish your vision by yourself, it's not of God."

so that's it, i guess. i need your prayers, friends... that i would hear God, most importantly, and that these decisios would not cause me unnecessary(!!!) stress.

thanks. :)

Currently Watching Pride & Prejudice (Widescreen Edition) see related

i have a dream

"A dream is just 'imagine if...'" -Walt Disney

I want to take just a few minutes to share my experience at SLU with you, my friends. It was a life-changing, a worldview-altering, eye-opening, thought-provoking experience... (and that's not all due to severe lack of sleep). I've always had the tendency to be a dreamer, a reacher, a see-beyonder. But it's so easy to let dreams and faith be eroded by the world and it's nihilistic pragmatism. Hopeless, pointless, meaningless, impossible, impractical, monetary deficiencies... as if my God isn't big enough to overcome all of these "worries" and more.

A dream is always bigger than you. If you can accomplish your vision by yourself, it's not of God.

How can my life be a demonstration of the miraculous if me, in all of my natural faults and incapabilities, can accomplish it on my own? How can I give credit and glory to the One who deserves it? In two words, I can't. But that's the beauty of it: I can't. He can.

And He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9a)

So now what? Can I say, well, Id love to, but its not up to me? Of course not. My dream is still my dream. Given Gods direction and grace, it can go anywhere, do more than I could imagine. Where is the majority of my effort supposed to come in? Faith.

A dream is always fifty-percent faith.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

Its time to step out of the boat onto the sea. Its time to stand up and say I have a dream. Its time to face the barrel of the gun and stick to what has been given to me: a dream.

"I miss 100% of the shots I never take." -Wayne Gretski

Heres the kicker: it doesnt happen overnight. I dont suddenly start having faith. Im not immediately an optimistic person. There is no abrupt quick-fix for ditching bad habits of pessimistic words, negative reactions, and cynical thoughts. Its practice; trial and error.

Inspiration gets you started; habit takes you across the finish line.

So it starts at habit. It begins at correcting myself every other millisecond for the habits I have acquired. But once old habits are knocked, Im one step closer to the dream, one step closer to living a life with an impact, and one step closer to hearing the words my  soul longs for "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Currently Listening Both Sides of the Gun By Ben Harper Picture In A Frame see related

hello to the world of xanga! you guys are actually still here. it amazes me, really. myspace is overtaking the population. i caved. yes. i did.

i still have xanga, i still love xanga, but xanga doesn't love me.

anybody miss the good ol' days when you actually recieved comments? yeah, me too.

so i've been working away my summer. i have a leadership conference to go to in a couple of weeks... it's called student leadership university. it's supposed to be pretty awesome. guess we'll see, eh?

what else? oh, tristan prettyman is amazing. the new ben harper cd rocks. and somebody get me a diet berry lipton green tea. cuz they're pretty much rachel's new favorite.

Now I wish you were here
So we could walk and talk
In the soft rain, in the soft rain
Now all that left of us
Is a picture sitting in a frame

let's go, region IV!!!

let's go, TEJAS!!!

wahooo!!!

*awaits final results*

*edit*

*bursts into happy/sad tears*

you guys are awesome.

congrats adam, marshall, alan, philip, and everyone else who did just plain amazing! love you all.

i miss you.